An Award from Work

I received the call nearly a month ago. I was told I was receiving employee of the year, and I could invite anyone I wanted to accompany me. Only Nerdling would be able to attend. Last week, they called again saying I was to receive an award. I was to arrive at a certain time to answer some questions. I was horribly ill the day before, but assured them I would be there the next evening. I called the next morning to assure them again that I would be there. I was told to dress up for photos to be snet out in a press release. I did.

I spent hours putting on makeup and styling my hair. Had not done this in over a year. I felt vindicated for all the hard work I had done for this company; in a better mood than I had in a long time. I still might be a professional butt wiper, but I was being recognized for being a damn good one!

I arrived at the designated time, and asked for the person I was told to ask for. Silence. Awkward glancing around. Crickets. After a few minutes, I was told to go into the party room. It was crowded. Too crowded. I started getting nervous. Everyone was crowding everyone, and I was getting bumped over and over. Finally, I went into a hallway and put my back to the wall. I explained it was too people-ee in there. Everything ran late. More people arrived. The people in charge kept telling me haltingly that they were surprised that I had made it. The seemingly non-stop compliments on my appearance made me feel more awkward.

Nerdling and I found a seat with our backs to the wall and awaited the ceremony. A member of the office staff stood by the emergency exit, we heard her say several times that she wasn’t to let us leave. I was already nervous about all the people there, and now I’m being told that a person was assigned to keep us in the room! Nerdling assured me that we could hoist her out of the way if we worked together. I was determined to get the recognition,

Finally, the acrimony started. There were 5 of us there. The story of why I was being recognized was full of so much shit and lies that I can’t believe they didn’t have a roll of toilet paper on the podium. Nerdling looked at me and informed me that it didn’t make sense. I saw the confused looks of others. No one even understood why I was being recognized. In a company that is 70% ethnic minorities, I heard someone call me the ‘token cracker’.

Effective immediately, I am looking for a new job,

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